You know it’s going to be a bad day when you are at work and you receive a call from the administration office at the grade school where your youngest child attends second grade.
Ring, ring, ring
Me: Department name that I work in, this is Moogie.
Mrs. Administration Lady: Yes, may I please speak to Mrs. Last Name?
Me: This is she.
MAL: Mam, this is Mrs. Administration Lady at a Georgia Public School. Meelie No was sent to the office just now by her teacher.
Me: Sigh. What happened? Is she sick?
MAL: No mam.
Me: What did she do?
MAL: It’s not so much what she did mam, but what she is wearing.
Me: What she’s wearing?
MAL: Yes mam.
Me: You’re gonna make me work for this aren’t you?
MAL: Mam?
Me: What is she wearing?
MAL: Well, it’s inappropriate and we need you to bring her another set of clothes.
Me: How is it inappropriate?
MAL: Her skirt is too short, and so is her shirt. When she lifts her arms, her stomach shows.
Me: Hmm, can you describe her outfit for me? I left before she woke up so I don’t know what she’s wearing. My husband dressed her.
MAL: Ah, that probably explains it.
Me: Explains what?
MAL: Mam?
Me: I’ll be there as soon as I can.
And this was what she was wearing when I got there.
To any sane person, which would exclude anyone who lives in my house, this type of behavior between spouses could be considered puzzling.
When I get home from work, I despise anyone coming within a certain radius of my body. Talk my ear off, follow me into the bathroom, but please, let me unwind, without touching me, and don't expect immediate, well thought out responses to your requests.
The kids know this. They keep their distance until I have finished changing out of my work clothes, and doing all of the necessary stuff (like peeing) that one does when one gets home from work.
Like I said, the kids get this. And the dogs? Well, aside from the occasional shout from me "Bruiser, put down the bra and no one gets hurt," they do just fine. My husband? Bless his heart. He normally does really well, but sometimes he falls back into his childhood, and forgets that I mean business.
Below is a comment that my husband left on one of my posts this morning.
Well, I don't usually wear a thong..... unless it's Thong Thirstday - in which case I have to figure another way to carry my brew, 'cause listhping and prancing in a thong while carrying a brew is just so... uhhh.... is this TMI?
I ask you? How can you not love a man like that?