Dear M,

This letter is difficult to write. Not because I don’t have anything to say (that would be something of an oxymoron no?), but because I can’t believe you made it to 50 YEARS OLD! Hopefully, Miss M has received the walker. I found a neon purple one, with a horn, wheels (that light up), an attached seat (padded of course), in case you get tired. Just a side note, if you lift the seat up, there is a porta-pottie you can use in case of emergencies.

That being said, I suppose I should get to the heart of the matter. I was contacted by a source for information. As you know, little sisters have the scoop when it comes to OLDER brothers. And, I have allot to tell. I’ve been waiting for years to get even with you for this opportunity.

For the past few days, my mind, such as it is, has been flooded with memories. All of them fond, and perhaps some of them you would rather keep secret (yeah, like that will happen). I’ll have pity on you and not mention the really bad (read embarrassing) ones. When I actually sat down at the computer, my brain went into a tailspin. This probably won’t be completely in chronological order, but I’ll try to write down some of them that stick in my memory. Not all of them will be humorous. Some will perhaps mean something only to me. Some might touch you as well. They will all tell you though, how much you meant, and still mean to me.

• One of my earliest memories was of the tricycle that got handed down to me from you and B. I remember that I loved to go fast. I carry a picture in my head of you on the back, holding on to my handle bars, with one of your feet on the back. You would push me down the sidewalk just as fast as you could go. I’m surprised I didn’t wear you out more than I did. I’m not particularly sure why that memory stuck in my head, but I remember it fondly. I suspect it was because you were my big brother. And you know, big brothers were better than Spiderman, even if they couldn’t shoot webs out of their hands.

• Do you remember swimming at night at Lynbrook? At the time, you had a friend who was a lifeguard there. You used to take me swimming with you quite a bit. It cost a quarter to get in, and after a little bit, they would take all of the quarters and toss them into the pool all over the place. You taught me how to dive to the bottom and get the quarters. You encouraged me to keep trying until I got it right. I’m still pretty good at it now.

• Who can forget Secret Agent Movie Starr, also know as Samm Starr? We had many great adventures when I took on that persona. Do you remember when we were waiting to get into our house in Saugus and we were all armed with squirt guns and sunglasses? Remember the music we used to hum?

• Who can forget about the boxing gloves eh? I think they were from Karate or Aikido? You had me put them on and hit you as hard as I could. Only I wasn’t hitting hard enough and you encouraged me to hit you harder? And I did. And I kept punching, and punching and punching until you were curled up in a little ball on the floor. Just remember. I know you’ll never admit it but I took you down then and I can still do it now.

• Do you remember the birthday dinners? We picked whatever we wanted to have, and the other would fix it. You would choose something like London Broil and fresh green beans with blue cheese and all the fixings. And of course, you would always choose the “Oatmeal Cake.” Do you remember the time I decorated it with your house and tools when you were going through all of your renovations? I, of course would choose Cornish Game Hen, wild rice stuffing, and my dessert would be vanilla ice cream with blueberry sauce. I won’t lay a guilt trip on you or anything, but I haven’t had any Cornish Game Hen since I moved and I hold you personally responsible.

• I remember whenever you would stop by for a visit with us, the first and foremost thing that HAD to happen before you even had a chance to take your shoes off was a full fledged game of hide and seek. I do not think there was a single inch of space in my house that was not used as a hiding place at one point or another. Closets, cabinets, shelves, bathtubs…nothing was sacred. And whilst we are talking games, do you remember Sock Wars?

• I remember when I was a kid I used to think you were seriously bossy. I mean, don’t get me wrong. You still are, but I have matured enough now to let you think you are the boss, but not letting you know I am getting my way.

• Do you remember when Chickie was born? I was in labor at the hospital and I would call you about every hour. You were in a meeting during the height of it with some of the big wigs at the company where you worked but you kept on telling me to keep you informed. And when things became intense and it was difficult for me to talk, Mr. Moogie took over to keep you informed. So here we were, calling you every hour, and you would take the call and go and inform everyone how it was going. That contact was so important because by God I was about ready to give birth to a water buffalo but I had to let my brother know just what was going on, pain or not. I know it’s hard to understand but that was a major focal point to me and helped me through the stages.

• You’ve always been there for me, good or bad. If I needed you, I knew I could count on you. When I was in the hospital last year, and the near future looked pretty bleak, you called me every day and talked to me about anything. You told me funny stories of things that had happened to you. You pretty much talked to me about anything BUT being sick. Don’t get me wrong, you always inquired about how I was doing, and what was coming up next, but you didn’t dwell on it. That really helped me out immensely.

I guess what I want to convey to you is how much I love you, even though I’m not so good at conveying it with words. I know I’m bad at calling or communicating by email. Life tends to get busy here with your nieces which I’m sure you understand. I miss the visits and the dinners we used to have as a family. I know that we both have our own lives now. I’ve got my career going and am now starting in a new field which is terribly exciting and petrifying at the same time. I guess you could say I’m finally stepping out of the box. The girls are growing and are very active in sports and dance. They would make you very proud.

In many ways, it must be the same for you. You have entered new territory, searching for employment. While I know it must be frightening not knowing what the future may hold, I KNOW, without one single doubt that this is a temporary situation that you will rectify soon. You are a fighter (even though I can take you down), and you do not quit. And I’m perfectly confident that it will happen soon.

As you can see, I had quite a bit to say, even though my intentions were to keep this short and to the point.

Quite simply M, I love you, and I am so glad God gave you to me as a brother.

Love you forever,
Your YOUNGER sister,
Moogie