Any parent of school aged children can tell you that children and homework can sometimes be akin to mixing oil and vinegar. If you don't shake it up often, it sometimes separates, if you know what I mean.

Chickie was a problem in grade school. She hated homework with a passion and it would take a lot of time for her to finish just a few pages worth. She spent so much time whining and moaning about it, that by the time we were done I was ready to drop her through the chimney or start drinking heavily. Preferably both. She has always been a child who does well in school, if she puts forth the effort. Quite often, her grades would be low because she didn't do homework. Once she did it, they would skyrocket. It was up and down, much like a roller coaster and it used to drive me mad. She's much better at it now, but tends to wait until the last moment to do things. I've been trying to break her of that habit and I'm about 50% successful in that endeavor. It's hard for me to get too worked up because I was (am) exactly the same way. It drives me nuts because when she applies herself, she aces her classes. I just wish I could figure out a way to motivate her.

Meelie No is an entirely different matter. I keep waiting for the point in which things get better, but we aren't there yet. She hates homework with a passion. Getting her to read can be likened to pulling teeth from a newborn, without the drool. Come to think of it, drool is involved in most cases. She is a volatile child, not in the violent sense, but emotionally. She is convinced she is stupid, and "will never get it." This bothers me greatly because I have no clue where that is coming from. On the flip side, there are days when she will sit down and do the homework, and have no problems with it. The problem lies when she doesn't get a concept right away. The frustration runs high and we plunge head first into a complete meltdown. And it's very ugly. I have to keep a tight hold on my temper because if I get mad? Things just take a leap off the Golden Gate Bridge and get worse from that point on. Of course it's because "I don't understand. I am mean and always yell at her. I think she's stupid and get angry if she doesn't understand." And people wonder why my blood pressure is so high.

I really don't want to come out as someone who is complaining. I love my children and take my job as their parent seriously. It's just that sometimes, it's hard to know what to do. How do I make it right? How do I become a parent whose child just comes home, has a snack and does her homework every night? Any suggestions?