There is something about the holidays and kids being out of school that can drive a parent insane if they are not willing to consume massive quantities of alcohol and take their medicine faithfully. As the day of return beckons, I find myself holding on to my last string of sanity, which, at this very moment is being stretched across the Golden Gate Bridge. There are times I'm tempted to jump.
I know that I'm not alone in this because I just got off the phone with my neighbor. Her two year old just fed a waffle to the VCR (with syrup). She told me this after she asked me if I had any Captain Morgan at my house. I wasn't sure if it was for her, or she was going to put it in a sippy cup for her two year old.
Melie spent the night at a friend’s house the night before last. Per usual, they stayed up late, and as most of you with children have experienced, late nights means tears, and tantrums, and an incessant amount of whining. I had just sat down in front of my computer to write a post, when she approached me sobbing. It didn't take me more than a blink of an eye (or wringing of my ears) to see she was headed for a complete meltdown. I listened to her bemoan the fact that her sister had to live with us, and she ate all of the Oreo Cookies. Those big sisters can be such a pain, can't they?
I agreed with her that life was unfair and that her older sister was certainly wicked, and needed to be punished. At this point I asked her what she thought we should do about the situation. Should she be spanked? Should she be grounded? Should she be hung by her toes from the ceiling fan? Should she be made to clean the toilets? Should I make her eat brussel sprouts? The scarfing of cookies is taken seriously in our household. The punishment should fit the crime should it not?
Melie pondered my suggestions for a while, and I could see that she was concentrating hard. After talking about if for a while, we decided to give the evil sibling one more chance. She was obviously happy with the fact that I was on her side, and skipped out of the room, singing about Harold (it's a song that the girls learned from their cousins over the break).
After I heard the front door close, I did something that no self respecting parent would ever do.
I laughed. I laughed out loud and really hard! I think I even snorted.
And then I blogged about it.
Comments
Here from Michele.
I read recently that negotiation with kids rarely works because when you are right in the heat of it they are likely to say, "Did you know I have a belly button?"; at which point all your logic flies out the window.
Sigh.
Been there, done that. Guess what? It doesn't change when they turn 20.
Posted by: srp at January 7, 2007 11:41 AM
Personally? I would have opted for the hanging by her toes on the ceiling fan!! That'd be fun to watch my sister twirling around and around and around...then try to walk to her room in all her dizziness---------maybe even chuck up the last of the oreoes in the process!!!! It'd deserve her right. LMBO But, that's me and my sister, she'd do the same for me. We be best buds!!!
Now....just where is this Captain Morgan?!!! Sail away, sail away....sail away!!! Pirates are such lovers!!!!----But, why's the rum gone?
Posted by: Anni at January 7, 2007 12:10 PM
OMG I am laughing so hard here.
I read it to hubby after I read it and he is lhao!
We can relate to this story sooooooooooo well.
You made our day.
Thanks for sharing.
Well done and great post!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one
Posted by: Raggedy at January 7, 2007 3:33 PM
Evil, Pure unadulterated EVIL I tell you, but it's got me laughing silently here..
Posted by: Gopher at January 7, 2007 6:49 PM
Thanks for the laugh, I so needed it.
Posted by: Melonie at January 8, 2007 3:13 AM
How very wonderful! I love it. Can't wait til Bob comes in from the shop so I can share this story :-)
Have a great day... and pass the Capt. Morgan's.
Posted by: Judy at January 8, 2007 10:46 AM
ROFL! Ya done good ma! Ya done REAL good!
(and if I wasn't totally DOWN on brutalizing children with weight issues, I would say you could tell the evil sister she already punished herself - with excess POUNDAGE! But I know both of your girls are active enough that she will work off those cookies in no time flat! Lucky little thing... )
Posted by: Melli at January 9, 2007 8:17 AM
