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Thirteen Essential Things I Hate About my last Dentist Appointment

I hate going to the dentist. My regular readers can attest to that fact. After all, they've had to read all of the whine, whine, whine, OMG(osh) I'm gonna die posts. Below are some observations from my dental appointment today.

1. When you walk into the office, after you have talked yourself into the "it won't be so bad syndrome", it's imortant to ignore the "Good morning Mrs. Patient, it's a wonderful day today and we are so glad to see you!" Note that you cannot hurt the wonderfully kind receptionist. Just remember, she is probably a blonde in real life. It's not her fault.
   
2. Never, ever, ever break down in front of the staff. Tears are for later. When your husband can hold you and tell you how brave you are, and how proud he is of you. If, by chance, some silly liquid comes out of your eyes, blame it on allergies, or the fact that you drank a bottle of Juan's Kick A** (sorry Mom, but I didn't spell it out) hot sauce on the way to the office.
   
3. Shots in the roof of your mouth are not pleasant. Especially if you have two of them, one on each side. And then need to have an extra one because the two you have already had are not enough.
   
4. When the roof of your mouth and the back of your throat are numb, it feels like your mouth is fat.
   
5. It is really hard to breath through just your nose when the roof of your mouth is numb. And they want you to do this because otherwise, you will choke on all the water they are squirting in your mouth. I have first hand experience of this.
   
6. It is very frustrating when the dentist fusses at you for bringing your toungue up to your teeth, and you don't even realize you are doing it, and can in no way control it because everything is so numb.
   
7. You must always be thankful for Dental Insurance. Because without it you will have to sell your children, or your husband's IPOD. Both of which are not good.
   
8. When your teeth are sensitive, there is a better than even chance you will feel some pain (WHOAH..dude, the nerves), when they drill, blow air, or squirt water on your teeth. No matter how numb you are. Gives new meaning to the words "butt walk."
   
9. Tylenol is a good thing to have on hand after dental work. Because your jaws will ache, big time.
   
10. If they give you shots on the roof of your mouth, there is a pretty good chance that that same roof will feel as though the dentist hit it a couple of times with the hammer.
    
11. I loves me some topical anesthetic.
    
12. It is really hard not to laugh when your doctor's stomach is growling continuously. It's even harder to keep quiet when he starts to laugh himself.
    
13. It is amazing how much better you feel after your appointment is through and you walk out of that office door. And you still feel good even though you have to go back in a week.