Hmm your just being a mom, checking on her, keeping her safe, making sure she's doing ALL her homework and not hiding it away ;) As long as she knows your only doing it for her own good and her safety and protection she won't mind... It's when she does then you worry..

Not sure if eaves dropping is a good idea. i don't think you'd enjoy it if you were in her place. I think that if she is as open as you say she is with you why bother? Give her some space. She may not mind, but everyone deserves a little privacy.

Sure, but what happens when she's not open? She gets tempted by drugs? Or the lure of sex? Good comment. Thoughts? Keep 'em coming.

The thing is is that if you provide her with good parenting, which it sounds like you are, she won't make those bad decisions. But we all have to remember that everyone makes mistakes, we are all human. I think there will come a time when she isn't as open as you would like, you just need to keep letting her know that you are there for her. (I should say that if I was in your position i would probably be doing the same thing as you :) )
Great Post! Sure opens up a good discussion.

Here's a tip: every time you find a scarp of paper with a phone number on it, copy it in a place of your own and put it back. I can't tell you how handy that practice came in while raising our children.

Well, it IS a subject with many differences of opinions....and mine is different than yours. Tho both of our kids are adults (one with 2 children of her own)...I don't agree with the snooping through backpacks and anything that is specifically theirs. All children, whether they are open with their parents or not, need to have both parents TRUST them and give them all the privacy they deserve. If your girls are open and honest with them, and you have nurtured them in the right way, where they KNOW right from wrong, you have to give them full reign and give them the TRUST back. Not by snooping. Ya, you think this is okay now, but if ever there is a time she witnesses you going through her private things, then HER trust of YOU has been shattered and the lies will then come through. You're doing her a disservice in my opinion. But we, as parents, MUST do what we think is the right thing....so if that what you're doing now, if you feel it's right...then so be it. There's nothing that can change your mind. AND I'M SAYING that THAT is right too. You must follow YOUR instincts and do what YOU feel is right. Don't allow opinions of others to raise your girls. Just MHO

You are most fortunate that your daughters are open with you...mine was not & that certainly caused some problems. Fortunately, after she grew up, we became friends & talk openly with each other now.

I'm not sure I'm the right person to offer advice on child rearing but but I do think trust goes a long way,..and is most important to keep. *s*

i'm not sure where I am on this one. I really do think though, if she didn't you to hear what she's saying she'd pick up the phone and cut off the speaker phone. As far as the back pack...When mine were that age, there wasn't so much stuff to get in trouble with so I never did that but I think I might today. Not every single day but just periodically. You might mention it to her so she can't accuse you of going behind her back...I don't know. You do what you think is right for you and your kids and something tells me it'll work out just fine..

Moog, how come you're never pinged on Blogrolling as new? Hrmph. Guess I have to haul my hiney over here more often instead of counting on Blogrolling to update properly. Jerks.

My 8 year old is already complaining that I"m invading her privacy by cleaning out her purse, her backpack, her Taekwondo bag. I told her that she's got nothing to hide from me. And that as long as she lives in this house, she's gonna be on the "clean out the bags" list. LOL! Poor kid thinks she actually has something to keep private already. *snort*

Moogie, I really don't know where the line is as far as snooping and being reasonably protective. I myself smoked pot for the first time in seventh grade. It was easily available, and not really uncommon. I came from a GREAT and loving family. Not at all a broken or dysfunctional home; you've met my folks! That they were naive was their only down fall. I knew many many middle schoolers in my class who were into HEAVY petting and some even that had experimented with sex. Lots of these were the "good kids" from "good homes." If my parents had ever snooped in my bag in middle school they might have found my box of Marlboro Reds or maybe even pot. Maybe then they could have done something about it. I don't know. I was pretty stubborn. It might have made me "hate" them even worse, and rebelled further. Good luck. As a soon-to-be new parent, I am DREADING the middle school years!

My son was here for a visit yesterday. My grown son and i still went through his backpack! Some habits are hard to break. I always went through his things and we always talked. In todays evil world it is a must!!

That's a difficult one, Moogie. I may have to think about it and get back to you.

mmm....i'm gonna have to go with you on that one Moogie. I think we have to know what's going on in our childrens lives when they are minors. This is not to say i'll dig through his drawers when they are grown adults, but as children under my supervision.....yep. it's fair game. today's world is too fast and furious for kids. They are thrown in to adult situations far sooner than they are mature enough to handle them. I think it's responsible parenting.