This is one of a handful of questions that I dread having my children ask me. Quite simply, there is no concrete answer, nor one that will put salve on the open wound located just above their heart. If you have ever watched your child(ren) sob as if all of the pain and suffering in the world is upon their shoulders I would say that you may know what I am talking about.
In this particular case, we are not talking about death in the human form, but in the loving, furry (some would call him rodent), 4-legged occupant in my home named Gingi.
It is important to know that each and every animal that lives or has lived in our home plays an intricate part in the lives of both the children and adults that live here. They have taught my children about responsibilities, in the feeding and cleaning the cages, tanks, poop, etc. They have taught my children the meaning of the word unconditional love, because let's face it, animals don't care what you look like, how popular or smart you are, or if you are in a bad mood. And they listen to everything you have to say, as if it was the most important thing in the world. Simply put, they worm their way into our hearts and become part of our family.
One of the more important lessons that our animals have taught us is about the cycle of life and death. Like many of you, losing a pet is terribly hard because they are a part of you. Chikie likens it to losing a limb, and while I don’t know that I would go that far, I would say that it hurts. Terribly.
The kicker about losing Gingi is two-fold. Meelie discovered it, and it was on her birthday. Yeah, me too.
As I held my children close, Meelie looked up and me and said “why did Gingi have to die?” I responded, “Unfortunately, things like this happen. But I think that Gingi died on your birthday for a reason. He died, but here we are, celebrating the birth of a child who we love so much.” It’s kind of like a full circle. Yes, I know that it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but she had just turned 8 and you really can’t go into any sort of in-depth explanation. I also told her that Gingi was now with Shoestrings (our first beloved dog) in Heaven and that they were having the time of their lives together. Bless her heart, she responded “I hope Shoestrings doesn’t eat him.”
Dad gave him the proper burial, complete with giving each child a chance to say their goodbyes. We picked a nice spot, right near the pond where (in my children’s words) “Gingi could watch the ducks.” I’m all for the ‘whatever works’ point of view.
I was telling this story at lunch today, and one of my co-workers said “don’t you think that’s a bit of an overkill?” To give myself credit, I did NOT slap her upside the head, but I’m ashamed to admit it was close. I realize that the vast majority of folks don’t believe that animals go to Heaven, but I’m all for telling my children that they do, if it helps them cope. Besides, truth be told, I’m not so sure they aren’t there.
I’ve gotten a lot of flack about our animals and the way we treat them, and how I let them become such an integral part of our lives. I’ve never understood it, but hey, to each his own.
Now, I’m asking you? Am I going off the deep end here or can you see where we are coming from?
Discuss.
Comments
Not at all, my dear. You are showing your kids respect in a painful time. The love they felt for their pet was real, and the pain they now endure is just as real, regardless of the kind of being that passed away. And re: animals in heaven? I don't know of any Bible verse that declares that there will indeed be animals admitted through the pearly gates, but I dare anyone to show me a verse that unequivocally states that the door there is closed to animals. You just keep on being the good mom that you are, and don't worry about upstarts who aren't responsible for raising your children, yet dish out unrequested judgmental advise nonetheless. So there.
Posted by: Mellie Helen at April 4, 2006 7:49 PM
I think I'd have been tempted to slap her upside the head too moogie dear. I can see where your coming from no problem, just some people obviously never truely "got" what having a pet means. Happy birthday Meelie No ** gives ya a great big birthday hug **
Like Mellie Helen said if god didn't want animals in heaven then why have noah build the arc to save them, put that to your co-worker and see them squirm...
** hugs ya **
Posted by: Gopher at April 5, 2006 1:13 AM
Where is it that the lion lies down with the lamb?
Posted by: john cowart at April 5, 2006 8:06 AM
As one who has always grown very attached to pets, I absolutely do not think that it was overkill. I think it's important to let children say their goodbyes and for them to understand that having memorials for loved ones (whether they are pets or not) is an important part of the grieving process. So sorry to hear about your little rodent. And on your baby's birthday!! That's just heartwrenching!
Posted by: donnay at April 5, 2006 10:38 AM
No, absolutely not! You did what any mom does, make sure their kids understand and cope. Screw your coworker for even questioning it! I'd have a full 21 gun salute to say goodbye to my dog if that meant my kid would sleep better at night!
{hugs}
Posted by: Oddybobo at April 5, 2006 1:18 PM
I would've done what you did, and maybe more. Last time I checked its our job to help make life easier to navigate, more gentle, more comforting, happier...and all the other things for our children; if you giving your children a "happy ending" to a terrible day does that then you did a good job.
Really sorry for your loss - I agree with the kids, it is like losing an arm.
Posted by: cursingmama at April 5, 2006 4:33 PM
I'm with you. I usually say something on the lines of their body stays here, which is why we bury it... but their soul goes to heaven. And I believe that is true for animals as well as humans. I am glad you did what you did. I would rather my kids face death than be hidden from it.
Posted by: vw bug at April 5, 2006 4:52 PM
You are right, of course. You teach children how they are supposed to treat animals ( the Bible does say "A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast:"...) and thus be gentler and kinder, so respecting their feelings of loss and grief is natural, too.
On a lighter note, the Bible says that the Lord is coming back on a horse with a an army of horsemen behind him, so, if there are horses, why not other animals? What does it hurt a kid to think along those lines?
Posted by: Herb at April 5, 2006 7:44 PM
I am sooo with you on this. Many times pets are such a big part of our lives, it is only fair to give them the sendoff they deserve.
Posted by: debby at April 5, 2006 9:36 PM
Soooooo not overkill. You have it exactly right. Good for you...
Posted by: Richmond at April 5, 2006 10:50 PM
Kinda like when Shoestrings (our 13-year-old Miniature Schnauzer) died.
We all cried - including yer idiot muscle-brained no-feelings stereo-typical Al Bundy type hubby.
BTW - Gingi is the same one that fetched me a bite once when I was holding him while his cage was being cleaned.
Little snot.
I didn't enjoy burying him, I DID give him a good wish to send him on his way, and I DID re-assure the girls that Shostrings would happy to play (not bite!) with Gingi when he got to Pet Heaven to be with Grandma.
Little snot. He bit me once - but he was just being a guinea pig.
Posted by: Dear Old Dad at April 6, 2006 9:57 PM
certainly not. Everyone knows that "All Dogs Go To Heaven!"
They even made a movie about it so it must be true!!!
My pets are always like children to me. I could never understand people who "dont" get attached to their animals!
Posted by: Suzanne at April 7, 2006 12:51 PM
