I was fortunate to be raised in a family full of love and support. I will be the first to admit it. When I was in my teens, and probably early 20's or so, I of course, went through the period in which I believed my parents knew nothing. I was cocky, and pretty much knew it all. They couldn't tell me anything. I put up with them because I loved them.
And then? I grew up. Things changed and I found myself going to my folks for advice, support, awe poor babies, or just unconditional love. I had all of this my entire life, but was just too dumb to realize it.
I email or talk to my mom often (not nearly enough though) and quite often find myself whining to her. Why? It's because she is always supportive of me. I may not like what she has to say, but after I've calmed down and got over myself, I find that she is spot-on in her observations.
She has the ability to put a positive spin on most everything. You have to admire someone like that.
I had been emailing my mom about the girls, and the trouble I was having. In this case, it was one child in particular. I felt like I was at the end of an already frayed rope. In my usual, mature way, I dumped on her. And in her usual way, she wrote a response that really helped me see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
I would like to share something about my daughter, who I loved very much. She had a marvellous vivid imagination & often lived in a dream world. Sometimes it was so real, she acted as though it actually occurred. She also had a problem with facing the truth and when pinned down would lie to me.This was very frustrating and I had difficulty in finding a way to help her. I made errors in trying to correct her, but I never gave up on her because I loved her too much. To me this is what mothers do, no matter how frustrating the situation, you give love, set rules & stick to them & do the best you can, to help your daughter. It may take a long time until you see results, but when they come, it is worth all the frustration & work you have done.
So when you feel down about the girls, take a minute and remember that you too had problems as a child & look how well you turned out.
You know, I was really following this until she said it was me.
Comments
My children and I always got along great. My husband and I were friends with our children. We taught them right from wrong, but never told them they couldn't do things. We told them it was their choice, but if they took the wrong path, don't cry about it later. We didn't have problems with them and they turned out to be great kids and did make the right choices in life. My children could tell me anything and weren't afraid to do so. :)
Posted by: Ma at February 10, 2006 12:35 AM
It's difficult sometimes to see ourselves through other's eyes, isn't it? Your mother is wonderful -- just look how great you turned out. You should tell her every day how much you love and appreciate her support -- no matter how stressed and busy you are. She will love you all the more for your caring. Very sweet post.
Posted by: motherkitty at February 10, 2006 8:44 AM
Are you sure you weren't emailing MY mother? Holy Moly! We're more alike than I thought!
Posted by: Omnibus Driver at February 10, 2006 10:00 AM
I often think back to where I was when I was younger and how my parents responded......and now how close I am with them. Things change....when we are younger WE know it all......now I find the older I get the less I know.
I guess its unconditional love that is the answer........our parents love us....even if we are the way we are
Posted by: Laura at February 10, 2006 3:19 PM
This is such a wise post. Not only are your mother's words wise, but you are wise to realise what a great gift you have in your wonderful mother. Thanks for sharing your mother's advice about remaining consistent but positive.
Good luck with whatever problem you've been having. Parenting is a tricky job, right? And so hard to know if you're getting it right (I feel I won't know until mine are 25 - if they're not behind bars or doing drugs or chronically unemployed by then...well I might start to breathe a little bit easier!)
Posted by: jellyhead at February 10, 2006 4:18 PM
Hmm you mother wanna adopt anyone *hints* :P
She sounds like a nice lady.. :D Your lucky *hugs*
Posted by: Gopher at February 10, 2006 4:49 PM
I've seen my own reflection in the mirror before, too. A humbling experience, no doubt.. You took the post right out of my mouth.
Posted by: FTS at February 11, 2006 4:58 PM
sounds like a good Mom, and good advice. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to be the perfect parent that we forget to put things in perspective. Usually what I am nagging about, isn't such a huge deal in the grand scheme of things....
Posted by: Suzanne at February 12, 2006 9:36 AM
Your mother is a smart woman. She raised a smart daughter. You are currently doing the same. Obviously you hit some rough patches, but they're small patches, and you must know that you have a lot to be proud of.
Posted by: Miss Jay at February 13, 2006 7:31 AM
It's true, just stick with it, this is coming from a college gal who no looks back and seeing how great of a family I have and how much I love them, from the jovial talk around the dinner table to the support and love. It's like growing into a pair of pants as a kid - you don't understand how on earth they could function on you when they are huge and baggy and for that matter, even look good but with time and years ahead, you look back and see that they are now you're favorite pair. It's a learning process. :)
Posted by: Lindsay K.q at February 13, 2006 12:20 PM
