To any sane person, which would exclude anyone who lives in my house, this type of behavior between spouses could be considered puzzling.
When I get home from work, I despise anyone coming within a certain radius of my body. Talk my ear off, follow me into the bathroom, but please, let me unwind, without touching me, and don't expect immediate, well thought out responses to your requests.
The kids know this. They keep their distance until I have finished changing out of my work clothes, and doing all of the necessary stuff (like peeing) that one does when one gets home from work.
Like I said, the kids get this. And the dogs? Well, aside from the occasional shout from me "Bruiser, put down the bra and no one gets hurt," they do just fine. My husband? Bless his heart. He normally does really well, but sometimes he falls back into his childhood, and forgets that I mean business.
Him: Hi honey.
Me: Yeah, ok.
Him: Did you have a good day?
Me: Please move, you are in my way.
Him: (not moving) Does that mean you didn't have a good day?
Me: I said move! I have to go to the bathroom!
Him: Wow, that bad huh? (he ATTEMPTS to invade my space)
Me: Look, as much as I love you and all, please move out of my way. I have to pee. If you don't move I will pee on your leg.
Him: He moves
Me: (coming out of bathroom, heading off to change clothes)
Him: (He gives me a hug)
Me: That's nice dear, now let go.
Him: Why?
Me: You know I don't like to be touched right when I get home.
Him: Yes.
Me: Sigh.
Him: (wraps his arm around my shoulders and chants, "bother, bother, bother, botherP, much like that lady on the Mervyn's commercials with her open, open, open.)
Me: Let go of me, and stop poking me.
Him: But it's so fun!
Me: Stop bothering me.
Him: Why?
Me: You are just like a pimple on my but. No matter how hard I try to get rid of you, you always come back.
Him: Hey, if I want any shit from you, I'll slap it out of you.
Me: I love you.
Him: I love you too.
Comments
Moogie Dear, I know it's so true but its also so darn funny, I know he'll no doubt read this comment so he can't say he's not been warned.. Hmm withdrawl of privledges like food will have him back in line in no time, unless of course he don't mind cooking for himself *giggles*
Posted by: Gopher at August 18, 2005 07:02 PM
That's so funny! I don't like to be talked to when I have stubbed my toe or hit my head. If my husband says, "Are you OK?" I yell at him to shut up. If he says nothing, I say "Don't you even give a damn that I am hurt?" At least you are consistent :-)
Posted by: Heather at August 18, 2005 09:49 PM
No, no, you are truly weird. Trust me, I'm and expert on weird, and tag, you're it. Unless of course you work in a war zone, then that's ok I suppose ?
-Chase
Posted by: chase at August 19, 2005 09:21 AM