I read this post by Carmi over at Written Inc and it really made me stop and think.
Just when and how do we let our children go?
Ask me an easy one, why don't you? For me personally, there are so many different stages of "letting go." The first sleep over. The first camp. The first overnite or longer stay at Grandma and Papa's, without Mom and Dad. The first day of Kindergarten. And, Lord help me, the first day of Middle School.
I use the latter as an example because I believe that letting her get on that bus, to head on out to THAT.HUGE.SCHOOL was extremely difficult for me to do. We went to open house on Monday, so I got a good look at the school and all of the classrooms. I can't tell you how many times we asked for directions.
She hopped on the bus and Mom and Dad were promptly forgotten. After all, her FRIENDS were there, and to show any sign of fear is just not done. We all know how that works. We've all been there at one time or another.
I fretted about her all day which is why I was thankful we were so busy at work. I didn't have time to dwell on the negative. What if she gets picked on? What if she can't find her way to the classroom? What happens if she doesn't like a teacher? What happens if she ends up in the wrong room? My baby. She is growing up.
I have to take pride in the fact that she wasn't experiencing the level of anxiety that her mother was feeling. That she was excited to be moving on up the ladder of higher education. That I was able to hide from her the fact that my heart was breaking because no longer will I drive her to her first day (or maybe the first week) of school, and walk her to class.
I'm thankful that she still will kiss me in front of her friends and tell me that she loves me.
You know what? It's ok. She's fine. She had a blast but was tired after a long day. She did fine.
And I will too.
Comments
I found the first camp particularly difficult, as mine had never been away from home overnight before that.
Posted by: Ruth at August 4, 2005 07:58 PM
Transitions are always so hard, especially when it dawns on us that once we go through something major, there's no going back. Regardless, we became parents for precisely this reason: to see our kids into adulthood and then let them fly free. So as challenging as it is to accept that they're slowly evolving into their own people, it's comforting to know that they're doing everything we intended them to do when we decided to have them in the first place.
Thanks for picking up on my ruminations. It's nice to know we're all in this together.
Posted by: Carmi at August 4, 2005 08:25 PM
My son is 2. I'm about ready to let go of the diapers already.
Kids who don't get picked on, get lost, hate their teachers, etc., are the ones who get used to coasting through life. While I hope my son never gets beaten up, a few bullies and disorientation early on will surely help him as he grows.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at August 5, 2005 12:41 PM
Yeah it helps a little take it from one who knows what he's talking about. She'll do fine moogie :) your her mom she loves you and ain't afraid to show it. You've brought her up fine thus far, more of the same is all that is needed. She knows who she can talk to if she's got problems :)
Posted by: Gopher at August 5, 2005 04:29 PM