I'm tired today. Really tired. What's worse? I've got no real reason for it. I sat down to write something today and the only thing I could think of was weather.
And how my oldest child is really struggling with the transition into Middle School. And how bloody angry I was at her last night.
And how I talked to my co-worker this morning about my confusion and my fear. And why I'm angry, and sad. And doubting myself as a parent. And how I have to let go and let her make choices, and accept consequences.
And how my daughter and I talked this morning, and came to some understandings. About how am I ALWAYS willing to help her, but that she has to take the responsibility for the decisions she makes. If she decides to not do her homework, and gets a detention for it, how I will not step in and cry "unfair." And how I will remain unmoved (on the outside) on my stance that she will not play outside with her friends when she gets home. And how she will complete the assignments that she missed even if she won't get any points for them. And how I will absorb the verbal blows of hatred spewing out of her mouth, only to respond with loving answers. That make her even angrier.
It's just been one of them. You know?
Comments
Sounds like you are doing a great job to me. Hang in there, Moogie.
Posted by: Heather at August 22, 2005 07:05 PM
I think you are doing a wonderful job. Nobody tells you what children are like at that age. It is the hardest job I can ever imagine, you wear your heart on your sleeve and it gets ripped off at least twice a day.
Here is the mantra that gets me through: If you hate me I must be doing my job correctly!
You know are doing the right thing because if you jump in and not make her responsible for her actions you are not teaching her to be self sufficient , self reliant, and an asset to society which is what our jobs as parent really are. It is a sad thing but the better parent you are the sooner your children no longer need you. Hang in there.
Posted by: Melonie at August 22, 2005 09:24 PM
On my 30th birthday when everyone else was teasing me about being "over the hill," my dad commented that turning 30 was not the big achievement. The fact that he let me live past junior high, WAS, however. My mother seconded that motion.
Just keep doing what you know is right. Your daughter will come around... although it may take a lot longer than you'd prefer! She's just at that age where you take the "terrible twos" to the tenth power, and throw a bunch of hormones in for good measure.
Good luck!
Posted by: Omnibus Driver at August 23, 2005 12:48 PM
Moogie I second all that's been said above. She'll come around, eventually she'll see you were right all along. Love will provail I need to find an e-mail I was sent about mothers and post it for all the "Kids" who are starting anew somewhere or going back to the same school. It's interesting to say the least..
Thou shalt not kill. It's tempting I know but not worth the prison sentance we'd all stand up in court and say "your honor she was provoked more than once" Now if Moggie J is reading this ( I'll always called her that as well that's how I got to know her)
"Go To Your Room Young Lady and Do Any and ALL assignments before your allowed out, I don't care if your friends are waiting for you just go do as your told, and trust me not doing it is not an option."
Hey something similar worked on me many a time. MInd you was big sis saying it at them time *she can still scare me yet*
Posted by: Gopher at August 23, 2005 01:54 PM
sounds like you had a day like I did yesterday!
Hang in there!
Posted by: kb at August 23, 2005 04:51 PM
We are parents. EVERYTHING is our fault!
Posted by: Key at August 23, 2005 05:52 PM
You know - I've got a couch too .....if you need it.
Posted by: cursingmama at August 24, 2005 04:10 PM