I fully admit that I am one of those moms. My children are the brightest, most talented, most intelligent children on the face of this earth. Any of you who have children should not be surprised by this statement.
You are? Come on. Haven't you ever thought to yourself that your child outshines any other?
Ok, let's not count the times that their brain stem disconnects from their spinal chord and there is no sign of activity. It comes with the territory, does it not?
There are days that my chest feels as though it's going to explode, and I'm going to pop all the buttons on my vest. My child did that. Isn't she the best?
I'm one of those parents that have to fight back tears at a concert, or at a softball game when my child hits a home run, or catches a pop up in the bottom of the last inning. Or reads me a book from cover to cover, only asking for help on three words. Or gamely tries a new food at someone elses house, and discovers that it's not so bad after all. The list is endless.
I have no favorites. Well, I do but they are each my favorite in their own way. We are best friends, in that "I'm still your mom though" kind of way.
I try hard to be a strong presence in their lives. I know all of their teachers by their first names. I've got a good relationship with all of their friends. Lord knows, I've become a pro at the whole sleepover thing, thankfully, my house seems to be the place they like to hang out.
I need only to look at them, or raise my voice slightly to let them know that they have displeased me, and it breaks their heart. I love them even when they scream "I HATE YOU!" because I have done something, such as make them take responsibility for their actions, or some other horrible, unspeakable, crime I have committed. My response is automatic. "That's ok, I love you enough for the both of us." As a side note, this is not generally well received.
I've just got to be doing something right. When that child of mine catches that pop up, or makes that home run, and she searches for me in the stand, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. And I in turn, smile at her, give her the thumbs up, and sign "I love you."
There are days when I want to shout "STOP!" Stop growing up. Stop becomming independent. Stop moving away from me. But then I think about my job. To guide them. To help them. To help sooth the emotional hurts. To help them understand. And when they take those steps away from me, I am so proud. My child did that. Without me. I had a hand in it.
Letting go is hard, but as a parent it's what I need to do. I teach them the best way I know how, and then watch them grow and learn. And hurt. And recover. Don't get me wrong. I'll always be there when they need me. But some things they must learn to do on their own.
It's so difficult to put the feeling of pride, or love even, into words. It just IS.
Can you relate?
Comments
You are a special woman and I hope that one day, I can raise my children as you are raising yours. I would have given anything to have a mother like you, and one day, your children will know just how blessed they truly are.
Posted by: Dana at May 11, 2005 06:59 PM
Blessed indeed, lucky to be alive sometimes I'm sure... But Blessed...
Hmm how I'm still alive now I've no idea... somehow I survived....
Posted by: Gopher at May 11, 2005 08:19 PM
Relate? So very, very well.
-G
Posted by: Garrison Steelle at May 11, 2005 11:54 PM
I can sooooo relate. I get goosebumbs when I watch school plays, and watch him doing things. I love my little boy like nothing i've ever experienced.
Oh, and i've tried pushing down on the top of his head telling him to stop all that growing up stuff he's doing, but it just doesn't work! He just laughs at me, which is music to my ears!
You're a great mom Moogs!
Posted by: Suzanne at May 12, 2005 09:37 AM
Parenthood is a crazy job. It's the only profession where your success is measured by reaching the point where you've made yourself expendable.
Posted by: Mellie Helen at May 12, 2005 07:02 PM
Yes, I can relate. I want them to be successful and self-sufficient, but I also want them to be my babies. I don't cry at concerts and what not, but I get that tingling sensation all over because I know that they will be on their own before I know it.
I also love the "I hate you!" scream--my response is "I love you I love you I love you" in a taunting little song.
Posted by: Melonie at May 17, 2005 06:49 AM