Yep. That's this week's Diva and Men's Club topic. Oh, and I'm honored to be the guest Diva this week. When or should you disclosure your sexual past with your partner?
My answer to that one is "sometimes." Not very decisive, I realize, but it really depends on the situation.
Do I really want to tell my partner about the days of Crisco Oil and waterbeds? Memories of heaving bosoms and thrashing thighs? Ice cream sundaes with a "cherry" on top? Ok..you get the picture.
Hi honey! In case you are reading this, I want you to know I love you.
I think there is a certain mystique in keeping one's past, or parts of it, a secret. I'm not so sure my husband would go for me waxing poetic about my previous boyfriends. It's kind of uncouth if you ask me.
On the other hand, it's extremely important to discuss it at a certain level because of Aids and various STD's. You really need to be sure of those things before you enter into any kind of a relationship. It's also a good thing to discuss, and fully communicate any kind of, how shall I say this, special interests you might have. If my husband would have told me he really loved goats and was desiring a threesome when I met him, I most assuredly would have moved and not left a forwarding address. Capiche?
On the other hand, sharing things such as these might be beneficial to a relationship, as you really never know what your partners "fantasies" are unless you communicate them. You just might be surprised.
For what it's worth, that is my opinion on this most interesting topic.
The lovely Miss Feisty is the organizer of this event, and she has some interesting thoughts on the subject herself.
Other thoughts can be found:
Phin
Naked Villainy
Down for Repairs
Sadie
Just Breathe
Kathy
Comments
Heaving bosoms?? Thrashing thighs?
Ice cream sundaes?? Cherries on top??
Goats??
This is rife with visual imagery.
However, your point is well taken. Mystique is good, sexually transmitted diseases are not. Communication is the key, but be careful in sharing too much.
Thanks, hun!
Posted by: Christina at May 31, 2005 06:44 PM
Nice job, Miss Moogie! Thanks for putting up with our collective maddness and joining us this week;-)
Posted by: sadie at May 31, 2005 11:16 PM
Past? What past? I have no past. I woke up this morning and started living. ;)
-G
Posted by: Garrison Steelle at June 1, 2005 12:28 AM
If we can't laugh at our pasts, then what good are they?
Posted by: Jay at June 1, 2005 05:27 AM
I personally think it's important to discuss this kind of stuff with your current partner without of course going much into d'tails. I wouldn't like to know what the boyfriends' been doing in bed with others...
Posted by: katie at June 1, 2005 06:11 AM
Communication is so important when it comes to these things, but I think tact is also key. I don't want to hear details from Chase's past, because they would just make me insecure, but I do expect open communication in the present. How many, who did what with whom, where and how is TMI in my opinion and not productive. (unless of course there is some sort of extreme fetish involved, then everybody had better be forth coming in the confessions) That's not the kind of thing you want to find out later!
Posted by: Suzanne at June 1, 2005 08:36 AM
Hi - Michele sent me. You've got quite a flair there for words. And I totally agree - being completely honest without the "details". Although, I don't think my past was nearly as colorful as yours. LOL! :)
Posted by: texasblu at June 1, 2005 01:24 PM