I think you described depression very eloquently...that is a very accurate depiction of how it feels.
I think people are hesitant to talk about this for many reasons. But also, that more people suffer from it than we know.
I went to art school with a guy who committed suicide a few days before graduation. It was hard to understand; to the rest of us, it seemed that he had his whole life ahead of him. No one had any way of knowing what kind of private hell he was going through before his death. People tend to hide their depression, put up a good front, etc. It's not something anyone wants to talk about much, but open dialogue is important.
I want to say more, but I'll read the above mentioned link and then come back...

I understand where her anger comes from, and recognize that it's perfectly acceptable to be upset with someone for taking the self-inflicted way out. The optics are always better when you stay and fight than when you decide to quit.

Like you, I had difficulty with the way she dismissed depression. Yes, from our perspective, it is indeed easy to say what he SHOULD have done was call a psych, get some meds, attend therapy and be a man. But what ACTUALLY happens in cases like these isn't that cut-and-dried.

We'll simply never know. It's not a logical scenario that we can think through.. The only way to know is to get inside the head of someone who's been there. And in so many cases, that's just not possible.

Thank you ffor digging into this. You may have saved a life in doing so.

Let me start off by saying that I first sent over and read her post. It's very strong, and in some aspects I understand her points. I would personally find it difficult to do something that my son would see and probably torment him the rest of his life. But unlike her, however, I find it difficult to pass judgement on someone's actions because I simply wasn't in their shoes and will never know the private hell that person was experiencing. Regarding depression...it's very real, and different in every situation. You described the catagories perfectly, and unfortunately the last one, clinical depression, is just as medically intrusive as cancer, or any other medical condition. The mind is an incredible thing...and the human spirit even more baffeling.

I went through a bout of depression a while back. My MD prescribed Paxil which caused more grief than it was worth. A psychiatrist to whom I was referred moved me over to Prozac which worked well but still had undesirable side effects. After a five month course of treatment, I ended anti-depressant usage. The side effects cost me three jobs, any one of which I would have been glad to keep. I later decided I would rather eat my .45 than have to go back to psychotropic drugs for relief. To stay as far away from that eventuality as possible, I attend as much live music as I can afford to get to; I have some 300 + hours of jazz, blues, classical, rock, sound tracks, ethnic, and international music on my hard drive; (It takes up 22.5 GBytes on my 60 gig disc) and I stream jazz or blues most of my waking at home hours. That does seem to keep the madness if not away, then attenuated. One of the oddities I've noted in this tribulation is people who work in their gardens seldom have this affliction. Too bad I'm a second floor apartment dweller.

My mom fights depression, but I have to say, I don't understand it. That's not to say I don't believe it's real, because obviously it's a real problem for a lot of good people. I just can't relate to that deep of a bad feeling. Sure, we all get into bad moods from time to time. A lot of that is just from everyday stress, but we usually get through it without dwelling on the root cause. I know medication has helped my mom tremendously. All we can do to help is to be supportive... I suppose. Good post.

Hi Moogie, I have not as yet visited the "link", this comment is from a person who suffered "clinical" depression for 10 long years. - ME - I was not aware that I was suffering "depression", I thought that I was crazy. My mood swings, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, fear of going out, fear of walking towards anyone in the street, crossing the road anytime anyone was walking towards me, uncontrollable crying, anywhere, I could be on a bus/train going to from work, all of a sudden, tears would just come streaming out, not sobbing, just mountains and mountains of tears, fear of being in "public" places, sitting at work, just crying, soft crying, not sobbing, just tears that would flow and flow and flow. Rushing home from the bus stop, nay I say "running" home from the bus stop, for fear that I would have to look anyone in the eye. Locking the door behind me, and then breaking down into "uncontrolable" heart wrenching sobbing. Ten years I did this. I lost everyone in my life that mattered, I closed myself off from everyone, anyone that tried to get close to me, I snubbed them. I lost two jobs. Lost my family. Lost my friends. Sometimes it took me 5 hours just to get to work, I would freeze, yes freeze to the spot, people would walk around me, I would stand in the same spot, and just cry, not sobbing, just soft tears, not moving, as I could not move, just rooted to the spot. I tried twice to take my own life, it got that way my Doctor would visit me once a day to give me my "medication", he was too scared to give it to me in "bulk" for fear of what I would do with it. Then one day, my normal MD was not in when I went for a visit, I was given an appointment with a lady Doctor, she changed my life, she acknowledged that I was "ill", that it was not my fault, that I was not "crazy" that I was "treatable". Five years down the track, after "medication" and "counselling", I am at times still "brittle", but I am proud to be a "survivor" of "clinical" depression. I now work with "Beyond Blue" a Government sponsored progamme for people with "depression" in a volunteer capacity, I "sponsor" (support emotionally) a person going through depression, (that is be there for them if/when they want to talk), I also talk about my life experience with "clinical" depression at "self help" groups. Strange as this may sound, even though I have lost a lot of friends and family, through me not being open enough to admit that I had a problem, and through their "ignorance" still to distinguish the difference between "clinical" depression and feeling depressed. "Clinical" depression is an imbalance in the brain. We did not "think" ourselves into "clinical" depression. I applaud you for posting this post, and as you can judge by the length of this "comment" you have certainly touched a "cord" in my heart. "depression" needs to be discussed more out in the open, and people who suffer from "clinical" depression:, should not be made to feel that it is "their" fault that they feel the way that they do. I have walked the "path", I know what it is liked to be thought of as "strange" , but in a funny way, I am so glad that I have had the "experience". It has made me the person that I am today, more "open minded" and "thoughtful" of others. (To anyone out there, if you have a "person" in your life that is going through "depression", just be there for the "person", just listen, do not give advice unless asked for, just "LISTEN", do not say, "just think happy thoughts and it will go away"', "that you control your own mind, so get over it", like all experiences in life, unless you have walked the same path, you do not know, so chill out, loosen up, and just LISTEN!!!!". I really have rambled on too much here Moogie, I appreciate your post, and I appreciate the the "space" to comment. :)

I just read the blog you linked too. Yikes, very angry. I have to agree with you about depression. Depression is extremely complex. For someone to be called an asshole for ending his own life is very harsh. I think he was selfish as to where he chose to do it but people should never judge anyone who has suffered. Going to a "shrink" or taking a pill isn't the answer for all. I suffer from mild depression and I am lucky that a pill fixes my problem. I know someone who is struggling with depression every minute of his life. Pills and visits to the doctor don't help much. Anyways, I feel it is very very sad when someone feels there is no way out and had to end their life. They died alone. That is the worst way someone can die. Sad and alone. I don't think that qualifies someone as an asshole. I have heard of medical staff in hospitals treating unsuccessful suicide attempters very cruel. How mean is that. They are supposed to be understanding and there to help patients. Not judge! People need to be more understanding and not judgemental ( I just repeated myself). Anyways, there is a lot to write on the subject of depression and I am not a professional but I do not judge anyone who suffers from it.

What is there to say that hasn't already been said, well I'd put something down but sometimes I really wonder who I am, why am I here,why can't the world just go away... I shut down, walk away from everyone... switch off... no-one knows truely what goes on in my head well some have an idea but no-one truely knows I don't let anyone that close. I did once and ended up hurting them with words I didn't mean (read my blog for more info - link in side bar)

I think that one reason it is difficult for people such as Queenie and myself to feel gut-wrenching sympathy for those suffering from depressions is because it has become about as prevalent as the common cold.

I've been there. She's been there. Likely half of blogdom has been there. It sucks, yes. I know. No energy. No will. EVERYTHING is overwhelming. I know. But no amount of sympathy or slef-pity will get anyone through it, unless of course it manages to humilate the subject into action. Ultimately, the decision IS am I going to live or die...fight or surrender?

This is not to confuse depression with anxiety disorders, which seems to be the case of at least one of your commenters.

And I don't mean to sound harsh or insensitive, but this is not anything rare. You pass people every day - checking you out at the store, seated next to you at a restaurant, handing your child a sucker in the bank - who are fighting it.

Had I allowed myself to believe that I was unique in my suffering, and that I was therefore afflicted with a rare debilitating condition, I likely would have allowed myself to wallow and rot in my bed indefinitely.

It's battle. Lay down or pick your weapon. My friend with anxiety disorder, my mother, and my step-father chose medication. I chose determination.

I understand everyone else's take. I do. But do you understand this one? Those of us who fight have a problem with those who refuse, particularly if they have children depending on them.

I bet that more humans suffer from depression than most suspect. I personally advocate professional help, but it's hard to find a gifted Doctor that can understand things hidden to you and guide you through this terrain that is by definition difficult for you to face and deal with. It's both science and art and requires an educated Artist! It can also be hard to afford such a Doctor. Still, I believe it's worth the expense and effort, perhaps repeated attempts to find such a person.

I also advocate for gardening as noted above, or for otherwise taking simple time for yourself to do simple things that bring enjoyment.

Lastly, once I found a church I liked, I found great loving support from new Christian friends. My church even hosts an ongoing "Celebrate Recovery" program led by volunteers that is probably the most attended program offered (and many options are available). In a separate program, small groups of people get together regularly to study and pray. Successful groups really become extended family - healthy family. It's a wonderful thing.

Mr H

I thought your post was beautifully written and put depression in perspective for your readers. I, to, have had friends that were clinically depressed, I still have friends that are clinically depressed and there are days I want to scream "Snap out of it!" then my rational mind takes back over and I realize that they cannot help it. I have seen them take medication quit, drink too much too often, use illegal drugs too much too often, sleep all day, not sleep for days, . . . It is very frustrating for those on the outside, but you have to continue to be supportive, getting angry does not help it hurts.

i had a the same boyfriend through high school and my first couple of years of college(the first time around), anyway one day he and I were out and his best friend had tried to call him at home and at school, but Steve wasn't there to take the call and his best friend killed himself that night. I watched Steve suffer tremendous guilt, pain and anger. Anger at his friend, anger at me, and anger at himself. It was one of the most horrific things I had ever seen. To this day I know it causes Steve all of those feelings so I understand the anger in the post you linked.