Tuesday, March 29

In a weak moment, I volunteered to be interviewed by my seriously talented and intelligent feisty baby sister, Christina. Call it a lapse in judgment, call it sheer stupidity, but the fact of the matter is, I now have to come through with the answers.

Truth be told, I’m not one to open up about myself. I’m intensely private in the areas that really count. It’s not so much that I have dark secrets, per se, but more because I lack the necessary self-confidence to believe that anyone would be remotely interested in any part of my life. I am also constantly fighting the battle to convince myself that it is ok if you don’t please everyone all the time. For most of my life, I have cared deeply about what people think about me. In many ways, I feel that I have come up short. I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, funny enough. The list is endless, and to go on would only prolong the inevitable. So without further ado, here are my answers to those questions.

Anyone reading your blog even once will definitely have a feel for what a warm and wonderful mother and wife you are. You seem to have a full life just as a mom, wife, and career woman. What does blogging add to you already full life?

First off, let me say thank you for those kind words. I feel very fortunate to have the family that I do have. I love my children even though they drive me to distraction at times. I am blessed with a husband who I feel is my partner, and I cannot fathom the possibility of not having him in my life. There aren’t many people who can say that.

There was a time in my life in which there was a distinct possibility that I would not be able to have biological children. If left to my own devices, I am infertile. Suffice to say, I did not suffer the medical intrusions on my body that many women go through, but I have been poked, prodded and hormonally adjusted more times than I care to talk about. It was a dark period in my life and one that I still have trouble talking about. The ups and downs of infertility treatment are painful to express, and, quite frankly difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t gone through it. I won’t go into details, but suffice to say, with medical intervention, I was able to have two beautiful, healthy, happy children. I’ll leave it at that.

As far as my career, I am my father’s daughter. I am anal in my work ethics. If it were not for my children and husband, I would be a workaholic. I have been with the same company for nearly 23 years, and have worked my way through various positions until I found my niche. I was fortunate enough to have someone who believed in me and was willing to pay for me to move across country, lock, stock and barrel. Even with that realization staring me in the face, I still have trouble believing I am good enough. My boss refers to me as a “subject matter expert” or SME. I think the terms they use are somewhat humorous yet at the same time they push me work harder. You see, after all is said and done, there is a large part of me that believes I am not worthy, so I must work harder to prove myself. I cannot allow myself to fail.

By now, I’m sure you are asking yourself why I am telling you all of this. Simply put, all of these reasons put together are a large part of the reason that I blog. Blogging is the way that I relieve the pressures of every day life. I vacillate from humor to seriousness. I suppose you could call me a mood writer. I love to share stories about my children, my husband or my life. I enjoy writing. It’s soothes me, and it helps me slow down my mind which is consistently set at warp speed. It brings balance into my world and helps me prioritize my responsibilities of life, family and work. In other words, it forces me to take time to smell the roses. Does that make sense?

You are signed up to attend the Georgia Writers Workshop in Jekyll. Just what are your expectations of the bloggers you will meet? Specifically, what mental images do you have of the bloggers slated to attend? And if you were to put those mental images into yearbook style categories (i.e., most likely to succeed, sexiest, geekiest, etc.) who would be labeled what?

I would have to say that my expectations are all over the board. I am both looking forward to and dreading the aspect of attending. Kind of depends on what hour of the day it is. It’s a big step for me because I’m not at ease meeting new people, but I’ve been taking steps in my life to change that. And it’s getting easier. I am really nervous about meeting everyone, but I would imagine after the initial awkward moment, I should get over that and set out to have a seriously good time. I hope.

I don’t know if it would be easy to put the possible attendees in a category, but I’ll do my best to give you my impressions on the who and what I think they are. It will be interesting to see just how far off the mark I am when I meet them.

Christina(Feisty Repartee): Since she is the one who is interrogating interviewing me, I thought it was prudent to start with her. In my mind Christina is a beautiful and intelligent woman, who is seriously confident in her life. She is precise and smooth in her writing style and she gives you the opinion that you wouldn’t want to face her in a courtroom. That’s a serious compliment. Basically, she’s an extremely knowledgeable lady, and doesn’t enter into anything lightly. I can’t wait to meet her in person. I want to see if the image I have of her in my mind matches up. Who cannot like a person who gives her daughter a make-shift Field Sobriety Test after her Hydrocodone kicks in?

Voted: Most likely to succeed.
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Kim (Velociman): For me personally, Kim is somewhat of an enigma. I have never communicated with him directly (only via the blog comments). When I read his posts, I often walk away scratching my head. His command of the English language, and usage of vocabulary is quite extensive and at times, far surpasses my field of understanding. It’s my belief that if I can meet him in person, I can somehow grasp the basis of his personality, thus lessoning my confusion and general fogginess of his messages.

Voted: Most likely to be a demented college professor.
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Rob (Acidman): There have been too many times that I have wanted to slap Rob upside the head. But as I’ve gotten to “know’ him through reading his blog I’ve realized something. I think Rob could be considered and instigator. He posts for a reaction. Does he really feel what he writes? Most likely. But I also think he does it to jump-start his readers into a reaction. And he’s dayum good at it. I’m sure a lot of his opinions are based upon life experiences, and I’m sure that has been a rough road for him. But I think he wants to get a reaction from his readers. Either negative or positive.

Voted: Most likely to be the president of a Labor Union
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Key (Key Issues): I picture (because of what I have read) Key being a long legged longhaired blond. A real beauty with brains. Adding that to the fact that she is a foster mom. You just have to admire that. At the same time she’s touchable, if that makes any sense. She carries no airs. She is exactly who she says she is, and, I’m sure, then some. She’s probably the first of this list that I started to read on a regular basis. I’m still trying to get past the fact that she performs pimple-ectomies on her face, but hey, a gal has to have some sort of a vice.

Voted: Most popular
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Dax (The Dax Files): With Dax, I always have Hollywood pop in my mind. Again, I’ve never corresponded with him before. If you don’t count the fact that I wrote him and told him that his comment section was down, and he posted about it. He’s in the restaurant business, which is in my book, not an easy career. If I had to put him in a category, I’d have a difficult time. With the picture up on his blog (I’m not sure if it’s him), he seems mysterious. I’m sure I’ll find I don’t know him all that well, once I meet him.

Voted: Most likely to be a Private Investigator
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Catfish (Catfish):I have no idea what his real name is, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s what people call him in real life. When I think of Cat, I think of the words “shoot from the hip.” He says what’s on his mind. Period. I think one of my favorite posts is the one where he “crapped” (ahem) in his pants. It all started with a single fart. He just went on and told the entire story, unedited. I’m still laughing. With Cat, it’s “What you see is what you get.” And to top that off, he doesn’t live all that far from me.

Voted: Most friendliest

I know there are a lot of others attending but I’ve just now really started to visit their blogs on a regular basis. I can tell you that I’m excited (and nervous) about meeting all of them. It seems as though they are all a great group of people.

Do you have a blog idol? Who is he/she and why?

Now that would be telling. I have several that I really enjoy reading. They all cover a variety of topics. I try to visit those folks on my blogroll at least 2-3 times a week. Some every day. Some I have regular correspondence with. But as of this moment, no, I don’t have a favorite. I am, of course, open to bribes.

Your children are clever and gorgeous and obviously make up a large part of what you write. Ten or fifteen years from now, do you anticipate that they will have access (perhaps in hardcopy form) to all that you have written? If so, are you cognizant of the treasure you are preserving for them as you write and what do you think they will think?

I’m glad you agree with me that my children are clever and gorgeous. Of course, I’m not biased or anything. It’s interesting that you should ask this question. My kids are a very important part of my life. It’s not like anyone doesn’t understand that after reading my blog, but they are. There is no written history of our family life. I feel that blogging on stories about the kids, the family, and my life, whatever, will be a hard copy that they can read in the future. I plan to arrange it so they do have access, whether I continue to blog (most likely) or not. It’s their history. I want to have it written down with them so that they can share it with their kids as well. One of the things that I will be doing in the future is adding stories about my parent’s life, and things that have happened to them. Even things that happened to us as kids, that perhaps, I don’t remember or haven’t written about. For example, my dad was a Marine. He’s told me so many stories (and a lot of them really funny) about his service. I’d like to get that down on paper.

Do you censor yourself when you think about topics or genres when you write for your blog? If you could post something anonymously on a secret blog, what type of writing, issue, or genre would you post? Any thoughts of erotica or romance?

Phew. That’s a loaded question. On the one hand, yes, I censor it. A lot of it is because my family reads it, but also, I really don’t want to offend the readers I do have. It’s a delicate balance and I’ve been feeling my way around that one for a while. I’m slowly coming out of that mode, and opening up a bit. I’m trying to write about different things. I hope to keep on doing it.

As far as posting in a secret blog, if I tell you that, wouldn’t that blow my censorship out of the window? Be that as it may, I’ll go ahead and answer it. I would probably (and have thought about) have a blog about erotica. I’ve written a few stories, and have several in my head, that I’ve not put into words. I’m not talking about the seriously kinky. I’m not into pain or animals. I have a vivid imagination. I’ve shared my stories with just a couple of people (and not always my husband), and am not adverse to sharing them with others for their thoughts. But it’s not like you can go up to or email a person/friend and say, “hey, do you want to read this really hot piece of heaving bosoms and throbbing thighs?”

Thanks for including me in your interview. It’s been really fun. Now, I guess my job is to interview 5 others. Let me know if you want to be included.

Posted by Moogie at March 29, 2005 04:58 PM

Comments

You did real good, see you soon, Cat.

Posted by: catfish at March 29, 2005 06:08 PM

Wow, Moggie I never realised how many erm "qualities" well that's not strictly the correct word but it's the closest I can come with, how many qualities we shared... I'm sure you've realised in reading my DD that erm I sometimes HATE myself, well maybe not hate but you know what I mean... I don't think I could ever be THAT open... (and no that's not a chance for you to use the Crowbar technique on me:P)

Posted by: Gopher at March 29, 2005 06:17 PM

Lights, Action, Camera...Just Damn! and yes that is my picture.

Posted by: Dax Montana at March 29, 2005 06:38 PM

Woohoo!

Now that didn't hurt too bad, did it??

And, thank you so much for the kind words.

You are a serious sweetie!!

Give that man of yours a hug for me and I look forward to hugging you both in a couple of weeks.

Thanks, Lady!

Posted by: Christina at March 29, 2005 07:18 PM

Very cool. Kudos to you and your sister both.

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2005 09:37 PM

An enigma wrapped inside a tortilla, I suppose. Think Angel Eyes.

Posted by: Velociman at March 29, 2005 11:07 PM

Thanks Moogs! Understand that I must post less than flattering pics occasionally, along with pimple and wrinkle posts... Otherwise, the product is going to be WAY oversold come Jekyll time, and peeps gonna be expecting a supahmodel!

Not. Folks are too kind. Truth is, I am a 30 year old soccer mom who just blew her much-needed diet with a bowl of Oreo ice cream!

Thank you so much though for the kind words. Given my inattentiveness lately to my blog, I appreciate the fact that you're still reading!

Posted by: Key at March 29, 2005 11:31 PM

Having met all the bloggers you mentioned (except Christina, and I'm dying to meet her), I think you hit the mark with all of them except for Velociman. He's actually a very nice and friendly guy who speaks in simple sentences. Of course, there is the bullwhip.

Posted by: JJim - PRS at March 30, 2005 12:16 AM

Awesome answers...this is my first time to your blog...but, you're answers were very open and I feel like I've been reading it for awhile now...just from this "interrogation" ...thanks for sharing! :)

Posted by: Sheilah at March 30, 2005 02:42 PM

Damn, and all this time I thought I was your favorite. Very thoughtful answers. I hope you have fun at Jekyll.

Posted by: Dash at March 30, 2005 05:55 PM