MY PERSONAL FAVORITE....IF WOMEN CONTROLLED MEDICINE

Posted by Moogie at 12:03 PM | Comments (5)

January 22, 2005

Bumps

My eldest child, my baby, is 10 years old.

AND.SHE.HAS.BUMPS.

When the heck did that happen? One minute she was as flat as a 2 X 4, the next minute someone has glued some grapes on her chest.

I'm in denial. Not that this is unusual for me, but this means she's growing up. I'm not ready yet. I still have all her baby clothes.

She's one step from becoming a woman. Before I know it she'll graduate from high school and college, then go and get married and move away from me and make me a grandmother before my time and then plot with her husband to put me in a nursing home, AND THEY'LL PROBABLY MAKE ME WEAR DEPENDS AND FEED ME BABY FOOD FROM A JAR!

Ok, perhaps I'm getting a little ahead of myself but it could happen!

This weekend I need to go take her out and shop for a bra, cuz you know, I don't want people to think my daughter is loose or anything. She can't go around with nothing holding up those bumps.

This just happened way to soon. Previously I was thinking of taking her out on her 21st birthday and getting her a training bra. Guess I'm a bit behind the eight ball on that.

Please hold me. Just hold me. Don't talk.

Posted by Moogie at 10:45 AM | Comments (9)

January 21, 2005

Wife from Hell

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....

"Only when he's been drinking."

Posted by Moogie at 04:22 PM | Comments (9)

January 20, 2005

Pots and Pans

One of the best Christmas presents I ever got as a child was a set of pots and pans. Well, they were an old set, but my mother knew she was getting some new ones so she gave her old set to me.

I had alot of fun with those. You have to understand, I was a child with a vivid imagination. Heck, I'm an adult with a vivid imagination when it comes right down to it.

My father traveled alot when I when I was growing up. I really loved to make him "meals" with my pots and pans. I even had some wooden spoons to add to my kitchen. That same year I got some poker chips as well. Poker chips make great pretend food. I would stir up soups, carefully simmering them in the pot, so that the minute my father would walk through the door (when he was not travelling) I could serve him up a gourmet meal.

Bless his heart. How he digested all of those tiny plastic discs, I'll never be sure. I'd make him a steak, corn on the cob and a baked potatoe. All in my mind of course, but my father had the capability of making me believe I was the best cook on earth. Besides my mother of course.

Looking back, I realize just how much he did for me by fueling my imagination. He would work all day, come home, eat my delicious meals and make me feel like a queen. As a working mom, I've come to realize just how much effort that really does take. But I also understand why he did it. All it takes is for me to look at my children's faces when I agree to play with them, or eat their freshly cooked meals, do a puzzle, or watch one of their favorite TV shows. It really isn't much for me, in the grand scheme of things. But for them, you would think I gave them the world.

When I was older, I got an Easy-Bake-Oven. I made so many cakes. My mother lovingly helped me prepare them, as well as the icing. I would proudly present these little cakes to my father. They couldn't have been much more than four inches across but the icing must have been at least 2 inches thick. Of course I had to decorate them. Mom had all kinds of stuff I could use.

Dad would always have one of those cakes (I imagine he had to gag it down, but I never knew) for dessert, and he would take one for his lunch. I'm still amazed that he eats my "real" meals at home when he comes to visit.

My folks taught me alot about what it means to be a parent. It only takes a small amount of time to make your child feel like they are the most important thing on earth. Dinner can wait just a bit. You can fold the laundry later. Does that floor really need to be mopped right this instant?

I don't know about you but I'm going to go get my fingernails painted by the girls. They tell me that neon green with glitters is all the rage right now.

Oh...and for my friend Rob, I'll make sure they paint my toenails red.

Posted by Moogie at 05:47 PM | Comments (6)

January 19, 2005

Seriously cold stuff

Yesterday morning when I left for work, it was 28 degrees outside. My car looked like a big yellow popsicle. I had icicles coming out of my nose that didn't defrost until noon.

I realize that 28 degrees is bathing suit weather for some of you, but people. I. Am. A. Wimp. I hate to admit it, but I am. It didn't get any higher than 46 degrees today. And then you add in that lovely thing called "wind chill factor." All bets are off.

I'm from Calfornia. We don't know what wind chill factor means. I rarely had to scrape ice off of my windshield while I lived there. And when I did, people were complaining about how cold it was and how they were going to migrate to Tahiti.

Thankfully, these hard freezes only last about a week, if that. And then we are back to the warm, seriously unbelievable weather of the south. I remember last weekend, my husband walked out on the driveway, in shorts, and shouted "I'M WEARING SHORTS AND IT'S THE MIDDLE OF JANUARY!!!" We never had it THAT good in Calfiornia.

When I was about 5 years old, I rember the winters (barely) in Rockford, Illinois. I remember the snow. We had a little Peekapoo named Samson who used to love to play in it. When it was deeper, he would kind of hop like a bunny, and I still have pictures in my mind of him while doing it. Up and down. One minute you would see him, and the next you wouldn't. My brothers and I would build snowmen and make snow angels.

Now, that was fun. I didn't mind the snow so much. Of course, I didn't have to drive in it, nor did I have to shovel the driveway like my brothers. So what's not to like?

It's different now. I was so acclimatized to weather that rarely had "extremes." These freezes remind me of a saying that one of my dearest relatives, who shall remain nameless, used to say. Nameless because I really want my father's facial features to remain in the same place in the off chance that, you know, my mother might be reading this entry. Hi Mom!

"Damn...it's colder than a witches tit today!"

Author's Note:
It was cold today, but not nearly so bad. It still took a while to defrost the car this morning so I could see out the windows and be sure I wouldn't get frostbite (I want to marry the person who invented butt warmers). Of course, when we got home we discovered the furnace was out. I'm hoping my husband can fix it but I'm thankful we have homeowners insurance. I may be giving them a call in a little bit."

Posted by Moogie at 06:29 PM | Comments (9)

January 18, 2005

A letter

My Dearest Bladder,

Why hast thou forsaken me?

Once I learned to control you as a child, I sincerely believed you were my friend. When I was growing up, you could hold so much. Sure, sometimes, when I was so busy playing, I forgot to pay attention to you until it was too late. That was not a big thing though. Unless I couldn't sneak past Mom and change my, um, shorts, if you will.

In my teen years, I didn't think about you until my teeth started to float. As I entered into adulthood, I only needed to, "vacate" about once every 24 hours or so.

What I want to know is just what the heck happened to you after I had children? Do you mind explaining that one to me? You turned on me. And it hurt.

I used to think, "oh, I should probably go to the bathroom now," and then wait a few hours and say the exact same thing, and go on about my business. I would repeat that mantra several times over until I just couldn't ignore you anymore.

And now? What's up with that? I go to the bathroom before I leave work, but the time I get home I beat feet for the nearest toilet. Barring that, a bucket, or on a really bad day, like when my belt is particularly complicated, my pants. You get me up at least 3 times a night. When we go to dinner, the minute the server sets the meal in front of me, you raise your head and shout "yoooohoooo, it's me again."

No longer can I "wait." You remember those "accidents" I had when I was really young? They seem to be more frequent now. Let's face it, when I have to go, I have to go. NOW. Oh, and puleeze. You know exactly what happens when I sneeze or laugh. Depends are really looking good right about now.

So just what did I do to deserve this? Once, just once, I'd like to wake up slowly in the morning, without having to hit the floor running. And God help the fool that gets in my way.

Lovingly,
Moogs

Posted by Moogie at 05:46 PM | Comments (12)

January 17, 2005

Writer's block

Ever have one of those times where you can't think of a single thing to write about, even if it means your children will cut out your tongue and stick it in Shrek's ear? No? Damn.

I started just looking around, with the vague hope that something would jump out and smack me upside the head. Hopefully, where it would show, so I could get some sympathy, and maybe a couple of cups of coffee. I was checking my stats and found some interesting search terms that brought readers to my blog. Here are a few:

1. Shoelacing methods. I do not remember ever writing about learning how to tie my shoelaces. In fact, I try NEVER to talk about it, and relieve the years of therapy it took me to get past that phase. Most likely the reason I wear shoes, with like, you know, velcro.

2. Basenji with mental illness. That would be my dog. Enough said.

3. Big girls butt. I take it these jeans make my ass look fat?

4. Guinea pigs called Moogie . Oh, like the whole big girls butt thing doesn't do enough to damage my fragile psyche.

These are just a few. I don't want to go any further than this because it scares me. I really don't need to have more dreams than I already have.

So there you have it. The things I post about when I have nothing to say. Yes, I'm just this side of pathetic. Now, can I have that cup of coffee now?

Posted by Moogie at 05:33 PM | Comments (7)

Wine for Seniors

Napa Valley vintners, who are famous for Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio,have come up with a hybrid grape that is anti-diuretic. It is perfect for the elderly, as it reduces night time trips to the bathroom. It will be marketed as Pinot More.

Posted by Moogie at 12:40 PM | Comments (5)

January 14, 2005

Survivor: Southern Style

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, several southern TV Stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, entitled "Survivor: Southern Style."

The contestants will start in Alabama, travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina. From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee. They will then proceed down to Mississippi and Louisiana. Finally ending up back over in Alabama.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates and large bumper stickers that read:

I'm Gay, I'm a Vegetarian, NASCAR Sucks, Go Yankees!

Smoking is for Idiots, Hillary in 2004, Deer Hunting is Murder, and I'm Here to Confiscate Your Guns!

The first one that makes it back to Montgomery alive, wins.

UPDATE: Like the dolt that I am, I forgot to mention that I received this email from a co-worker of my in Calfornia. I didn't write it. I don't know who did, but whoever it is, sure had a good idea.

Posted by Moogie at 05:29 PM | Comments (13)

Is it Friday yet?

I'm terribly afraid that my children will not make it into adulthood. If they don't kill each other, I may have to step up to the plate.

"I refuse to do a battle of wits with an unarmed person!" (this was said while oldest was running after youngest, with the intent of beating her senseless)." I guess that was better than "You don't have the brains God gave a flea!"

Gee, I wonder where she got THAT from?

Posted by Moogie at 05:16 PM | Comments (4)

January 12, 2005

Friends come and friends go

I tell myself this time and time again, but it never really sinks in.

I guess as a child, you expect it. Or, well, just get used to it. It's part of your life. But when you are an adult, you expect friendships to last. I'm finding that it really doesn't work that way. At all. And it hurts.

I lived in California for thirty years. And over that period of time, I made a lot of friends. Some were acquaintances, but some I considered close, and dare I say it? Best friends.

We were a tight knit group. Most of us had kids, or were working on it. We did things as families, as well as just as couples. Stealing a night out away from our children, with a common babysitter to watch them.

When I first heard about the job out here, I was skeptical. Bah. Why would they want to choose me, much less transfer me all the way across country? What did I really have to offer that was different than anyone else? All my friends stepped up to the plate and supported me. Told me to go for it. I mean, really, what did I have to lose?

I went through countless interviews. I flew from coast-to-coast more times than I care to remember. When the offer finally came, I hesitated. Mostly for the reasons that are obvious. Is this a good move for my family? Is this a good career move? What if things don't work out? What if this really isn't the job for me? These are things that most people striving to make a rational decision will have filtering through their minds consistently. I drove myself crazy with my second guessing.

It was an agonizing decision. Leaving my home of 30 years. My friends. My job. Everything that was familiar.

I am a financial analyst. That is a career for me, as much as it is an inherent part of my personality. I analyze every decision I make, frontwards, backwards, sideways, upside down and right side up. And then I do it over and over again. I make lists. And then I make lists for the lists. And then I rip them up and start the process all over again.

I accepted the job. My new boss wanted me out there in two weeks from the moment I told her I accepted the offer. Uh, I had two children and a house to sell? I got a reprieve. One month. Luckily, my husband was unemployed at the time, so he could get the house ready for sale, and take care of all the bits and pieces on that end.

About a week before I left, they threw a going away party for me. The amount of people in attendance was mind boggling. It was a good feeling. All of my friends clammored for time with me before I left. The promises of never losing touch were constant. And I believed them, because that is what enabled me to move forward.

I moved ahead of my family. When I finally got them all here, and we were settled in our new life, I realized that the emails and telephone calls from these friends had become few and far between.

Is it their fault? Certainly not. Is it mine? No. Was it a victim of circumstance? Most definitely, or at least I'd like to hope. The fact of the matter is, we are all busy with our families, our jobs. It's one thing to promise that you will never forget someone, but it's another to make that so. I'm just as guilty of that as they are. So no, there is no one person at fault.

But that doesn't make it hurt any less. That doesn't make me feel any less lonely. That doesn't stop me from having trouble extending or accepting the olive branch that is held in my direction.

But, I'm breaking out of my mold. I'm forcing myself to learn how to make new friends. It's been so long. I would imagine it is something like learning how to date again, after being out of the picture for so long.

Most times, I'd just assume dig a little hole, and live in my house, with my family and make them my focus in life. Which they are and always have been, but as an adult, I've come to realize I need more.

I learned that lesson from my children. They adapted so well, and it was them I was the most worried about. They have so many friends here, and are busy with so many different extracurricular activities, I've had to buy a calendar to keep track. They taught me that, while yes, friends come and friends go, you must be open to making new ones, and enjoy doing it. By doing so, your life will become enriched in ways that you could never fathom.

I want to be like them. Open, and innocent, accepting and excited. I was so comfortable in my skin, I was unwilling to look outside the realm of comfort to see what is on the other side. Slowly, that other side is coming into focus. It's a beautiful picture. It's in my grasp. I just need to find some more colors to add to the landscape and I'll be on my way.

Posted by Moogie at 06:41 PM | Comments (13)

Generalizations

I despise gross generalizations. As I've gotten older, that hasn't changed.

Listen up people (and I know most of you who read this blog will agree), the look of a blog has absolutely nothing to do with the content. And to state otherwise purely shows to me, and other readers, you obviously don't read the blogs that are objectionable to your questionable eyesite (notice, I am NOT questioning intelligence).

By way of comparison, it's like looking at the color of one person's skin, rather than finding out who they really are. What he/she believes, or stands for.

Now that I've got that minor PMS rant out of the way, I'd like to lovingly present to you Acidman, and his, um, stand on certain types of blog skins.

Posted by Moogie at 06:37 PM | Comments (5)

How to annoy me

Tell me that there is a PTO meeting, in which your creative writing is going to be on display, right when I walk in the door after getting home from work, and the meeting is in 15 minutes.

Posted by Moogie at 06:21 PM | Comments (0)

January 11, 2005

Growing up Nancy Drew

My oldest is a voracious reader. She takes after her dad. You know when he heads off to the "library" with a thick book, you won't be seeing him for a long time. She does that as well. I'm just thankful we have multiple bathrooms in this house.

She reads anything. Cereal boxes to Encyclopedias. Babysitters Club, Captain Underpants, Junee B. Jones, Scary Stories, Boxcar Kids, Harry Potter, Judy Blume. You name it. Her most recent discovery is Nancy Drew.

As a child, I grew up with the Hardy Boys. Until my child started reading it, I’d never even picked up a copy of Nancy Drew. Turns out I was missing something. As is my habit, I have the kids read to me at different times. My oldest one really loves it. My youngest will resist me, as if I’m suggesting she maybe eat a, you know, vegetable or something.

So, I’ve been learning a lot about Nancy, this female detective with a propensity for bike races. I’ve been introduced to her friends and father (apparently her mother died when she was three). I’m still holding out for the Hardy Boys, but Nancy is pulling up their in ranks. She may turn me into a convert.

I'm trying to figure out how Nancy has only aged about two years in 7 decades. I'd like to know her trick. I could make a bundle that way.

My daughter just called me at work. Seems Nancy has gotten herself into a bad situation. She wants me come home now so we can continue on with the mystery. I tried to explain to her that I was going to be home late and it wouldn't look good if I told my boss I would be missing a proposal kick-off telecon with the west coast because I needed to rush home and find out "who done it" in the latest mystery my child was reading.

I agreed she should continue without me, but only after she swore on her sister's litte pointed head that she'd take notes. And give me a full report when I got home.

I just may have to sneak off to the "library" later on tonight to catch up and get ahead anyway. Seems to be the only way I can get some peace and quiet nowadays. Well, as long as I remember to lock the door.

Posted by Moogie at 04:58 PM | Comments (9)

January 09, 2005

Karaoke

I'm glad to see that Christina is suffering right along side me. It seems we have some budding talent on our hands. Well, I can only speak for myself as I have not heard her children sing, but I can well imagine it sounds about the same. And quite often, that is LOUD.

People, I am stupid. At times, I'm overcome with moronic tendencies, but my psychiatrist said that with time, and a full frontal lobotamy, that may pass.

Back to the point. The Karaoke machine. I had only the best of intentions when I bought it for them for Christmas. My eldest is in chorus, and she actually does have a pretty decent voice, or so I've been told. My youngest loves to emulate anything her sister does, so she belts out these songs with a passion (You should hear her sing "Feelings" with Babs. It brings a tear to this old woman's heart I'm telling you, though that may be due to pain.). Of course, the words are from some different form of vocabulary, that until I had children, I'd never been exposed to.

It's difficult not to smile when they want to put on a show for you. Especially when it involves them singing things like "Bad, Bad, LeRoy Brown," "Cornbread and Chicken," or "Rock around the Clock Tonight." The possiblities are endless. My only fault, other than buying the machine in the first place, was to by a rather large abount of Karaoke CDs to go with it.

Well, as Christina says, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I think I'll try my hand and Brittney Spears.

Oops I did it again.

Posted by Moogie at 03:34 PM | Comments (7)

January 08, 2005

The bike

I remember getting my first bike. One that wasn't a hand-me-down from one of my brothers. I can picture it clearly now, just as if it were in front of me.

I named it Pink Panther.

It was, not surprisingly, pink. At that age, everything in my life was pink, so it's not surprising that my parents picked that particular color for me.

It had a pink banana seat, with a white basket with flowers in the front. My dad attached one of those long flags in the back, that had a picture of the Road Runner on it.

I rode it everywhere. When I was old enough, I road it to elementary school, which was just down the street from us. I was so proud.

My dolls sat proudly in the basket, snugly wrapped in blankets so they wouldn't catch cold. I would take them on long rides in our neighborhood and point out specific things I though would interest them. We had a dog named Samson, a Peakapoo, that loved to ride in that basket. He would wine when I would pick one of my many dolls instead. Equal opportunity, I would tell him.

When I moved out, the bike stayed in my parent's garage until they made the trek out east. I took it then, and stored it in my garage. For some reason, it held such a sentimental value to me that the thought of getting rid of it was too painful to contemplate.

I've had several bikes after that. But this one was special. Magical if you will. When I was growing up, it was an essential part of me, much like the oxygen one needs to breath.

We fixed it up for my stepdaughter so she would have a bike to ride while she visited us. She looked grand, with a new seat, handle bars and tires. But alas, time went on and my stepdaughter out grew her. And she sat in the garage, alone, and gathering cobwebs.

I eventually, in one of those rare moments of blind acceptance, came to realize it was time to let her go. My husband fixed her up once more, and I washed and waxed her. She was ready to go.

I made the drive down to the local children's shelter, and slowly, rolled the bike in. It was near Christmas, and they were taking donations of bikes for the children there. I had attached a bow to her, with a tag.

"Hi, my name is Pink Panther. Want to go for a ride?"

Posted by Moogie at 05:40 PM | Comments (4)

January 07, 2005

Growing up with testosterone

I am the youngest of three children. To top that off, I am the only girl. I always wanted a sister. Now that I have two daughters, I would like to retract that statement, but alas, that is for a different post.

I adored my brothers. They adored me, and it showed. I was horrible to them. I'm always suprised that they still talk to me. We are close. I was a little shit and they covered for me. To this day, I've never understood that.

There were times that my britches got too big and I felt I could get away with anything.

Since I was the only daugher, I always had my own room. My brothers always had to share. The rule was, you had to ask before you went into the others room. Like I was going to let that stop me.

I had this routine down pat. One of my brothers would be laying in bed reading, and I would march into their room and smack them a good one. Now, I ask you. What would your reaction be?

They would get out of bed, and chase me all the way back into the room. At this point I would scream "Mooooom, they are in my room and I didn't say they could...and they are hitting me!" Doh.

I don't recall how long I got away with it. I do recall when I got caught. I snuck into their room and ran up, hit my oldest brother, turned around to run back into my room and ran smack dab into my mother. Busted.

Obviously, I had to stop doing that, but it didn't stop me from tormenting them every chance I got. The funny thing is...they covered for me more often than not. And they still talk to me.

I'll always be the little sister. Even when I'm in a wheel chair and wearing depends. There are some titles you can never get rid of. And secretly, I'm glad.

Posted by Moogie at 06:47 PM | Comments (5)

How to annoy me

Come to my office at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon, and tell me that I have a hot project due on Monday morning, by 9:00.

Crap.

Posted by Moogie at 06:40 PM | Comments (1)

January 06, 2005

Today is the first day..........

....of the rest of your life.

Now, what you would do?

Posted by Moogie at 05:58 PM | Comments (1)

Blog it forward - January 6, 2005

In continuing with what I hope to be a regular column, I'd like to add yet another winner of "Blog It Forward."

I fell in love with this blog the first time I visited it. It's not a parent blog, nor political, nor religious. It's just, well fun.

The owner of the blog is a very wonderful woman, who has some terrific ideas which get alot of audience participation. Yet, you get the feeling she doesn't do it strictly for that. Yes, she loves the comments, but feels that her audience is what makes her blog so good. And that comes through.

So, I'd like to introduce you to Michele. Please go over and participate in one of her games. Don't forget to say hello (yes, I'm taking a line from her blog), and tell her Moogie "blogged her forward."

Posted by Moogie at 05:37 PM | Comments (4)

Thank you everyone

I just wanted to thank everyone who commented on my De-Lurking post. If you haven't already done so, go ahead and comment. I'll leave the comments open for a couple of days.

It was a really fun thing to do and it's all in a great cause. So, go tell your friends to come on over and comment. I'd love to hear from them, and that means I'll be donating more money.

Posted by Moogie at 05:34 PM | Comments (0)

January 05, 2005

Praise the Lord and Pass the Peanuts

A post over at Key's place got me to thinking, which, in all fairness is not always a good thing. I found it interesting to read some of the comments, but more specifically the actual posts that I followed via trackback.

I'm not one to post about religion or politics. It's not because I don't have anything to say, but that's not where my real interest lies. I leave that to my husband.

Be that as it may, I enjoyed the discussions going on over at Velociworld, Inblognito, Round the Fire, and Gut Rumbles.

I in no way can hold a candle to their writing abilities. They have a much better way of voicing their opinions, and are much more polished in their craft. I wanted to post some of my beliefs here, because I'm to much of a chicken-shit to do it on their blogs.

I was born and raised a Lutheran, and baptized as an infant (via the sprinkler). I attended church and Sunday school regularly, sang in the children's choir and was confirmed.

And then I moved out. And I stopped going to church. At that point it was most likely because I didn't want to get up and get dressed that early on the weekend (read that as I was a lazy ass). Over time, it didn't change. It's not so much that I don't believe in organized religion. I will say that I do go from time to time, but the main driver behind that is my kids.

I believe in God. Does my not going to church change that? No. I lived in California for 30 years, where I was subject to the liberal point of view. After all, it's the land of the fruits and nuts. Perhaps that jaded my attitude but I'd like to think I'd be the same way wherever I grew up. Likely not though.

I now live in Georgia, which I swear has to be the center of the Bible Thumping Belt of the United States. I've had to bite my tongue any number of times since I've came here.

My parents are very religious. Their faith is strong. But quiet. I'm the same way. I don't believe in forcing my beliefs on anyone. You have a right to choose, just like I do. What you don't have the right to do is belittle, or damn me for my beliefs. The same goes for me. To do so would go against the whole "judge not lest you be judged" kind of scenario.

It's who you are that counts. Not what you believe. Jerks/Criminals/PITAs come in all shapes and sizes, and religious preferences. I like to debate my beliefs from time to time, over a couple of glasses of wine (ok, maybe a bottle or two) and a pizza. So come on over. You're welcome any time.

But for now...I need to go do something with the kids. Like sacrifice a lamb or something.

Editors Note: Completely moving off the subject, please be sure to hop on over to this post and leave a comment. It's for a good cause. Pinky promise.

Posted by Moogie at 05:25 PM | Comments (5)

Donate and De-Lurk

I stole this idea from Zoot who got it from Sheryl and Lisa. I thought it was a great idea and a wonderful cause.



So come on in and say hi won't you? I know you are out there. I get alot of hits a day, but only just a few comments. Won't you come out of hiding and just say hi?



De-lurking is so de-lightful. It gives a sense of freedom and power and lets you express who you are. I know you are out there. Just itching to comment. You can do it! I know you can.



Won't you please comment? Don't be shy. I promise not to laugh. Unless you want me to. I'll even respond to each and every one of you.

And to top that off, just like the other super ladies I mentioned above, I'll donate $1 to Disaster Relief in South Asia for every comment I get.



Don't be a stranger. Come back and visit often. Lurker or not, you are always welcome.

Don't worry how late it is, I'll leave the light on for you.

Posted by Moogie at 02:34 PM | Comments (14)

January 04, 2005

May I have your attention please?

"This is an alert. This is an alert. It has been mandated that all military personnel report to the XXX conference room for a mandatory urinalysis.

I repeat. All military personnel are required to report to the XXX conference room for a mandatory urinalysis."

Alrighty then.

Working on a military base subjects you to all kinds of drills and mandates. These are normally delivered via the loud speakers in each building. It's just normal stuff that you would expect.

I was in a meeting when this one was announced and I looked at my boss as if to say "are you kidding me?"

Apparently, this happens from time to time, but until today it hadn't happened on my watch.

Off and on all day, I saw military personnel walking down the hallway to the restroom, with their superior following them. The military personnel had their arms raised at shoulder level, bent at the elbow 90 degrees. In their hand, they were carrying a tiny bottle.

Let's face it folks. How many of you can pee on command, much less do it with someone looking over your shoulder?

And what's up with the tiny bottles?

It's all fine and dandy if you are male. You can use the point and shoot method. I'm hoping there was a bigger container for the women (like a bucket). After all, for us it's a hit and miss kind of thing. Kind of like automatic sprinklers.

Posted by Moogie at 08:20 PM | Comments (4)

You've been tagged

I got this email from my friend Melonie today. I don't normally post gender specific entries but I thought the ladies might like this one.

===========================================================

Ok .. BE HONEST....how many of you REALLY ENJOY getting little angel love notes from every person in your address book? You know the ones *I love you so here's a too cutesy angel and some mushy poem to prove it...* ~~ BLEH!!

Like the cute wasn't bad enough, THEN they FORCE you by threatening bad luck if you don't send it on to others and back to them to prove you read the e-mail. A vicious circle.









Here's MY version:

Author's note: The email has been edited to include just the necessary items. After said author cleaned the drool off her keyboard (is it hot in here?), she imediately posted it for all the overworked, under appreciated women in the world.

Posted by Moogie at 05:35 PM | Comments (4)

January 03, 2005

Blog it forward - a year at a glance

Today, I'd like to take the time to thank all of my new friends who I have met since I started blogging again. We've got a good group among us and I've been corresponding with a few of them now for quite some time. I'm looking forward to meeting new people in 2005.

It always amazes me the things I find out about people. Most of us have alot in common, some nothing at all but somehow, we build friendships, even if they are only virtual.

I thank each and everyone of you who have taken time out of your busy lives to come and read, and sometimes comment, on my blog.

So, before I start blubbering like a baboon (*to late they cry!*), here are a list of "some" of my favorites. If I had to list all of them, I most likely would crash the server. Please, if you read my blog, but are not blogrolled but would like to be, let me know and I'll add you.

Sharon: What can I say? I'm not sure but I believe Sharon is my virtual twin. We have alot in common, and quite often it startles me. She is talented beyond belief. She's an artist, a musician, and a wonderful mother of three boys. Oh, and she'll be running for Mayor this year if we can talk her into it. She's been through alot in your young life and yet, she comes across as an optimistic person, looking forward to the future. The humor in her posts never fail to make me smile. She can take some of the most horrid situations and make me laugh out loud at her take on them.

Melonie: This woman inspires me to take naps. Lot's of them. Not because she is boring in any sense of the word, but because her schedule makes my head spin and my heart rate rise. She has SIX (yes, I said six) children and has gone back to school (I'm still trying to get past the six children part). Not only that, her father-in-law lives with her as well as 3 large dogs and a cat. I'm still trying to figure out when she has time to sleep, much less blog.

Aussie Mama: What can I say about this sexy Mama from down under? I am addicted to her blog as much as some people are addicted to soaps. With her quick wit and uproarious humor, she weaves a tale of her budding romance with James, the dashing fireman. Her readers learn of Princess Whores and unattentive husbands. We learn about her children, their boyfriends and the pooping, biting, cyring antics of her littlest. I cannot wait to see how her story unfolds in 2005.

Contemblogging: A blogger who is just a hop, skip and a jump from me in a geograpical sense. Suzzane's blog is filled with things that make you nod your head, thinking to yourself, "yep, been there, done that." She's held so many different and interesting jobs, and lived in different places. I'm fascinated when reading about some of her experiences. This is another one of my daily reads.

Vegemite: Another Aussie Sheila, with a passion for Vegemite. Does anyone really know what vegemite is? Well, folks from this side of the pond, I mean. Vegemite is a whirlind of activitiy, bouncing from one thing to another. Over the Christmas holidays, she wore me out by her posts and all of the things she did. I'm not certain, but I think she was the #1 poster on my DoodleBoard during this time. Another very good daily read.

MellieHellen: Yet another good read for 2005. MellieHellen is one busy woman. She homeschools her kids, and even has a blog dedicated to the subject. In one of her recent posts, we learn that she is a cradle robber (the good kind). It seems her husband is a bit younger than her. This will definitely be a site I'll continue to visit in 2005.

Gopher: AKA: GopherTheAngelic. (*cough*) I've known Gopher for a long time and he has finally agreed to go "public" with his blog. This, of course, will force him to post more. Gopher is over in Scotland, and his Scottish humor knows no bounds. I've threatened to send the children to him and he always tells me he's going to move and not give me his address.

Goss: Yet another one of the bloggers I've been virtual friends with since I started blogging again. She's just recently redesigned her site and it's looking fabulous. She constantly has me laughing about the comings and goings of her little one's, "A" and "D." I'm looking forward to seeing what 2005 brings to her life.

TW: Another DAWGS fan. You gotta love it! TW is witty and has a way of telling a story that makes you feel as if you were right there when it's happening. She's another one that has posted about alot of things I've experienced (mainly kids). Goooo DAWGS!!!!

Key: Key epitomizes all that I want to be. Well, wait, I don't want egos to be blown out of proportion. I would like to have her quick wit and (sometimes) sharp tongue, and ability to say what everyone else is thinking but afraid to verbalize. I'd like to be able to post what I want or feel about something in the eloquent way she does. Kind of like a "take no prisoners" attitude. You gotta love that. Oh, and besides that, this oh so wonderful lady mailed me a Christmas card!!! Some would say I'm easily pleased, and some would be right.

Zoot: What can I say? I love this woman. She's the one who designed the site you are looking at right now, and held my hand through the learning curve when I switched from blogger to MT. She did this on her own time and didn't charge me. She is one of the most creative and talented designers I know. I'm just waiting for her to start her own business. She's that good. I love to read her blog because she has short humorous takes on every day life happenings.

Posted by Moogie at 09:01 AM | Comments (8)

January 02, 2005

A couple of thoughts

1. There is a reason that they put locks on bathrooms doors. It is especially wise to use them if you have kids, or a very talented dog.

2. It is extremely difficult to break up an argument between 7 children when you have no voice. Bopping one of them on the back of the head lightly (no pain, just enough to be irritating) does the trick.

I'm just saying.

Posted by Moogie at 04:45 PM | Comments (5)

Lunch

Tiny: 1
PB&J: 0

On today's menu here at Chez Moogie, we served nothing but the finest PB&J sandwiches, using only Goober and fresh bread. For those of you who haven't discovered this wonderful item, Goober is a jar that has both peanut butter AND jelly. I can make a sandwich in 30 seconds flat, which is helpful when you have half of the kids in your neighborhood gnawing on your ankles.

True to their nature, the kids were up and down fiddling with the Karyoke machine while eating their lunch. On one of their fiddling times, Tiny decided she wanted some, and promptly pulled one of the sandwiches off the table and ate it.

I will pay you to take my dog. On second thought, take my children. Tiny will eat anything I put on the table and never complain.

Posted by Moogie at 12:44 PM | Comments (1)

Elvis has left the building

And if I have anything to say about it, he will not return. It seems the new thing in the neighborhood is to talk like Elvis. I have heard just about every impersonation you can think of. It gets old.

So, as of this moment forward, I have forbidden Elvis from entering my home, or being anywhere within a five hundred yard radius of me.

If that doesn't work, I'm going to get a restraining order.

Posted by Moogie at 12:41 PM | Comments (1)

January 01, 2005

I am speechless

Some would say this is virtually impossible, but I digress. I don't mean "speechless" as in, I don't have anything to say. I mean "speechless" as I don't have a voice. At all. Nilch. Nada. Unless of course, you count the croak like squeak that comes out when I attempt to communicate verbally.

It started with a cough the day before New Years Eve. By nightime, I'd lost a majority of my voice. By the next day, it was completely gone. Today it's no better. I don't feel sick. Well, today I was really tired but then I realized the medicine I was taking contained an antihistamine wich was making be groggy, so that doesn't count.

To top this all off, I have an entire buttload of pictures to download from Christmas, but I can't because the program I used to download them wasn't put on the newer computer.

But it still hasn't put a damper on my day. It was seriously relaxing. When I wasn't napping, trying to sleep off the drugging effects of the antihistamine, I was playing some games with the kids (board and computer) and putting together jigsaw puzzles. In other words I really didn't do a thing. I'm breaking my own cardinal rule. The Christmas tree should be down by January 1st. Know what? I don't care.

The New Years Eve party was an absolute blast. There was a ton of food. My neighbor and I both made quite a bit. I love to do stuff like that. It was a nice group of people, many of them I didn't know and alot of kids.

There was even a huge bonfire. They do that here in Georgia. At least in our neck of the woods. I had forgotten just how good s'mores tasted. We did that as well. It was a bit difficult to communicate with no voice, but I managed quite well, and in spite of it all, enjoyed myself immensely. It was a little bit sad, not having Dick Clark there for the countdown, but the whole group converged upon my neighbors livingroom to watch the event anyway.

I look forward to 2005 with a passion. It's been a difficult year for us. My brother's major surgery, the destruction of my parent's house during one of the many hurricanes that came through, my diagnosis and ultimate hospitilization, my other brother's loss of employment. These are just a few things. But you know what? Life is good. I suspect it's only going to get better. As we go through the rough patches in our life, we gain strength, and our endurance grows by leaps and bounds.

It's easy to think that we are alone in our misery, but we don't have to look very far to see others that have it worse than us. I think of the Tsunami that hit Asia. My problems pale significantly when I compare them to that unthinkable tragedy I have yet to wrap my arms around.

This time of year I tend to look at all of the things I have in my life. I am blessed. I thank God for the children he gave me. For my husband. For my friends and the rest of my family. A great job. It's not hard to find the positives in life if you dig just a little bit.

So, here is my challenge for you. Let me know some of the things you are thankful for, even if it's something small. I look forward to reading about them. But right now, my children wish to sing to me using their new Karyoke machine. I'm thinking that's #1 on the priorities list right now. Dinner can wait.

Posted by Moogie at 04:56 PM | Comments (3)